NEW BLOG

I changed my blog. I'm now at injoyinmylife.wordpress.com I have found it much easier to upload videos and make the kind of changes I want. Please follow me there. Thanks a lot. Ellen

What a difference a Decade Makes!

I was just going through some of my Affirmations I haven't used for awhile and I found this one.

There is no loss in Spirit.  I cannot lose my good.  I have not lost my good, though I may have outgrown certain phases of it.  My good has simply changed form.  I now welcome my new good, which comes to me in God's wise and perfect ways.  My good is now divinely restored.  My life is made beautiful again.

I stopped for a minute to reflect and couldn't believe it has been ten years to the day since (one of the times) my life was turned upside down.  

I had been suffering terrific pain from Fibromyalgia.  I was using medication, I had taken a job closer to my home to cut down on my commute (at a considerable pay cut), I was doing all that the "book" told me to do, AND I was more miserable than I had ever been.  The pain was excruciating. I couldn't sleep.  I was depressed.  By the time I got home from work I hadn't the energy to get out of the car, I would just sit there and cry.

My friends and doctors had all suggested I quit work.  Well, that was just not a possibility.  My husband had just retired, although he was fortunate enough to have a great retirement plan from Los Angeles County where he had worked for 40 years.  He basically received 100% of his salary and all of our medical premiums would be paid for life.  Since he was only 60 years old, he had a part-time job, but we really needed my income to "make ends meet."  

I was 50 years old and hadn't planned on retiring for at least another 10 years.

Well, you know what they say, if you want to know if God has a sense of humor, tell Him your plans. But, I digress.

Ten years ago today I walked into work, (I was a family law secretary in a very busy Los Angeles law firm) and my boss called me into him office.   He told me I had to quit work because "they" couldn't stand watching me in pain anymore.  I told him that they should see how it feels from my side!  He went on to say that I needed to file for disability and that basically it was my last day.  I was flabbergasted.  I had never been fired before.  He assured me that he wasn't firing me, I just couldn't work there anymore, it was just too difficult for them.

Okay, that's how it started.  Needless to say, I was extremely upset, cried for days, talked to an attorney about wrongful termination, but hey, all the attorneys stick together.  He "explained" to them that he had not fired me, I just couldn't work there anymore.

Well, God bless you bossman.  That was one of the best things that ever happened to me.  It took two years to get on disability which netted me the wonderful sum of one-sixth of my earnings, but heck, money isn't everything.  My doctor was thrilled, he said now I could take the time to heal.  I started a water aerobics class at the Y.  I began to learn how to lessen the stress in my life, AND, I made a huge decision that would change the course of our lives.

I'm not one to sit around and wallow in misery for very long.  Yes, I was really upset about it because I had wanted to control when I would retire and that was taken from me, but that wasn't all, my health was failing, but more importantly, my self-worth was in the gutter.  I was afraid for us, how would we make ends meet.  What would we do?

I had read somewhere that if you are not living the life you say you want to live, you must be lying to yourself.  I got to thinking about that.  What did I really want to do?  I had always dreamed of traveling the country in a beautiful, fully loaded RV, I had even mentioned it to my husband at one time or another.  So, I suggested to Doug, my husband, that we just go look at them, I had all the reasons why it would be less expensive to sell our house, take the money and buy an RV and travel.  The year was 2000, gas prices were still affordable. 

So, we just did it.  I knew it was the right decision.  We even bought it before we sold our home. But again, the year was 2000, we sold our home right away and off we went.  

In subsequent blogs I'll talk about our 5 year adventure of touring the country, where we finally settled, and about the fact that I am pain free.

Yes, life if good and it just keeps getting better!

With love and light, Ellen

Back in Action

Wow, almost a month without my computer. I felt so disconnected. But - all is well, I have a branny-new laptop. Actually my computer guy, Chris, won't let me call it a laptop, I have to call it a notebook. That's because he says I'm not allowed to use it on my lap. I wonder if that is why I go through a laptop every two years, could be??? Anyway, I have a new one now and one of those cooler pads so I can use it on my lap, but I will try to get used to calling it a notebook. I don't want anyone to confuse it with a netbook. I got my husband one for Christmas and he hasn't used it yet. He really wanted it too, go figure. Anyway, I made do with it while I was without, but I really didn't like it at all. I don't like the tiny screen and the fact that nothing fits right. I used it a couple of times with the old desktop monitor I had and that was better, but then I had to sit at the desk! No fun. Well, I am on the internet, but I still don't have everything loaded on my "notebook" yet. I don't have Word or my Creative Memories picture program or all my documents, pictures, etc., from the old hard drive. I need Chris for that. Oh I suppose I could do all that, but it's better when Chris does it because it goes on right the very first time. Besides, there are always these other little things that I forget, that he remembers. So I will await Chris' arrival for that.
I must say that we had just backed up everything from my computer on to an external hard drive the day before it died. Can you believe that? I have everything and didn't lose a thing. Really exciting since I lost the hard drive in its death.
That's about all for now. I have many things I'd like to blog about, but way too much other stuff to do now. Bye for now.